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Single and Celibate: Does Intercourse Affect Dating

Single and Celibate: Does Intercourse Affect Dating

by February 9, 2022

By: Megan Kirk

It seems as though sex and sexually explicit content is everywhere. From the music played on the radio to the feature films shown on screen, intercourse is on display, and let’s face it, sex sells. In dating, hook-up culture makes one-night stands a common occurrence. Relationships are rooted in physical interaction and leave little time and space for deep, meaningful connections. For women who choose abstinence or celibacy over casual flings, dating options seem to dwindle.

Jojo Canty believes in the power of purity. The 23-year-old successful beautician and minister launched The Purity Walk to teach other women the importance of saving oneself for marriage and the power in saying no.

“The Purity Walk is a ministry and mentorship program. It’s really for young women to push them to celibacy and focus on their purpose. It’s about them learning the importance of what God has for them,” says Canty.

Maintaining one’s virginity is no longer common. Having never engaged in intercourse, Canty relies on faith and leads by example to set the precedent for the women in the ministry. Becoming intimate can blur intentions. Learning from the experiences of those close, the founder has seen how dating can have its ups and downs and how sex, or the lack thereof, can define potential dating interest.

“It affects dating more positively and not negatively. When a man finds out I’m a virgin, he gets excited. They come correct. I’ve set the standard and they know how to treat me,” says Canty. “I have also seen with my peers or friends, when they have sex with a man, they don’t want to marry them or have respect for them.”

It has been said that men do not want to be charged with the task of deflowering their prospective partner. Stereotypes say that those who abstain from sex create an inseparable bond or fall in love prematurely, and that virgins are believed to be anomalies. Men have been known to sever ties and end relationships upon realizing that a woman is not sexually active.

“I’ve had an instance where I was seeing a guy and I told him I was a virgin and he cut it off,” Canty says.

As The Purity Walk gains momentum, the ministry is encouraging more women to make the purity pledge. For women who want to go on the journey to purity, it is never too late. Even if a woman has lost her virginity and actively engage in intercourse, she is welcome to take the pledge.

“You don’t have to be a virgin or be actively practicing celibacy. That’s my job to get you there,” says Canty.

A survey released by a British publication suggests 95 percent of adults have lost their virginity by the age of 25. The Centers for Disease Control reports the average American will lose their virginity by the age of 17, driving up the number of teenage and unwanted pregnancies. Later in life virgins, though uncommon, do exist. Placing value and self-esteem rooted in physical attention, women are dealing with the effects of maintaining a physical connection without the emotional aspect of love.

“To every woman, your value is not at all what a man thinks of you,” says Canty. “Your value should be in pleasing God. I don’t want women to be insecure or compare themselves to other women or what society thinks about you.”

Couples looking to take the walk together are encouraged to find activities that can draw the couple closer without the introduction of physical interaction. Staying dedicated to the journey of abstinence or celibacy can help facilitate a genuine closeness intercourse cannot.

“Just keep holding. If you hold on, you will reap the benefits of being pure,” says Canty. “Don’t put yourself in the position to be tempted. Love each other enough to protect each other’s testimonies.”

The Purity Walk mentorship program is active and services all women across all states including Michigan.