The Jesus List…Too Much or Too Little

The Jesus List…Too Much or Too Little

by May 17, 2016

In a recent conversation with a friend of mine, she was citing to me her top “3″ list, and she said “AJ, my man had to have a good personality, treat me well and like sports. I then asked her something that I think has put her on the path of finding a good mate. I asked her; “What is your definition of good personality? How does someone treat you well?” I closed with telling her that beyond him liking sports, there was nothing specific to her list.

In fact, the reason that she was drifting from relationship to relationship, was that although she had a list of attributes, those attributes did not define what she was looking for, she needed to go back to the drawing board to determine what she really needed prior to taking on another date.

That conversation defined what I like to call “The Jesus List.” Often as women, we have a laundry list of qualities (some unrealistic) that we are looking for in a relationship, that’s if we have a list at all.

I must commend my friend for at least having a list; however, there are many women out there looking for “THE ONE” with no map at all. I mean, women come on, even Jay-Z has the “The Blueprint III” which in essence maps from song to song, how he and the events of his life led him to that status of where he is.

Often it is said that if you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything. Here lies the fate of single women, lack of self-reflection and clear understanding of what wants and needs is the cause for many heartbreaks, wasted time and energy.

Now, please understand I am not offering any magic potion and then blink your lonely days are over. In fact, I am suggesting the opposite. By having a set of standards, list, blueprint, guide, whatever you want to call it, may, in fact, lead you to many dateless nights. However, what I am offering is an opportunity of TIME not WASTED.

Consider this, if in fact, you have taken the time to self-reflect and find out what is important to you, then when a man approaches you that does not fit into the definition of what you TRULY need, not just want, then you can allow yourself the freedom to let him keep walking. You may realize this after the first date, the second or even the fifth. But if you already know what you need, and if this man doesn’t fit that, then why on earth are you trying to make a “Circle” man fit into your “Square” hole. (You know what I mean).

I love being a woman because we are strong, persistent, smart and intuitive. However these attributes serve us no assistance in relationships or dating, if we haven’t taken the time to evaluate our worth, what we need and deserve, write the vision, make it plain and WAIT for it. I would love to hear your thoughts because, hey it’s just MY Perspective.